Let Your Groom Plan the Wedding

I just saw the most fascinating wedding show on BBC America about grooms planning the wedding while the bride has to sit back and be surprised on the big day. It was a very interesting idea, and it was hard to say who had it worse: the groom who had to make all of the preparations or the bride who had to give up all control over her own wedding. It got me to thinking, would you let your groom plan the wedding?

If you think about it, in almost every case, it is the bride who is in charge of planning the wedding. She makes all of the big decisions about style, vendors, and all of the rest. Sure, some grooms may have opinions and may even have a nearly equal say in matters, but the reality is that the wedding is usually the bride’s show. After all, most women have a picture of a perfect wedding in their mind (even if they won’t confess to it), but very few men have even given the subject a moment’s thought before they become engaged.

So what would it be like for a man to throw a surprise wedding for his bride? On the BBC program “Don’t Tell the Bride”, the groom is given $20,00 and one month to plan what he hopes is his bride’s idea of a dream wedding. During that time, not only must he keep all of the plans a secret, but the couple cannot see each other. This is probably to prevent the bride from leaving copies of Martha Stewart Weddings all over their house with favorite dresses, centerpieces, and bouquets marked. No, in this case, the groom is entirely on his own, without any helpful hints from the bride.

By far the most stressful part of the entire thing was when the groom had to choose the bridal gown, crystal jewelry, and even the bride’s hairstyle and tiara. It was difficult enough for the groom, but it was pure agony for the bride. She knew that even if she hated the dress, she would have to wear it down the aisle (or decide to call off the wedding!).

This got me to thinking, how many brides would allow someone else to choose their entire bridal ensemble, including the gown, crystal bridal jewelry, headpieces, veil, and even shoes? Would it be worth it for a free wedding? The day before the featured wedding on “Don’t Tell the Bride”, the bride-to-be decided that giving up control of her gown was so stressful that if she had to do it all over again, she would not have done the show, even though it meant a free wedding. I have to say that I feel the same way!

In the end, the groom in the program acquitted himself nicely. He chose a gown that the bride liked, and even more than that, he made careful and tasteful choices about everything from the flowers to the cake to the pink bridesmaid dresses. It wasn’t just a case of, hey, this wedding is pretty nice for one planned by a guy. Not at all; it was a very nice wedding, period. The bride was delighted at all of the effort the groom put into giving her the perfect wedding, and he was justifiably proud of the results.

Which just goes to show that, given a chance, a man can plan a wedding. He just needs the right motivation (which is where the $20, 000 comes in). So ladies, the next time that your groom declines to help you with your wedding plans, cue up an episode of “Don’t Tell the Bride”, and let him know that the secret is out: men can plan weddings too!